Aisle of the Damned: 4/28/17- In Space, No One Can Hear You Say “Family”

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In our latest episode, Kent deals with all sorts of ne’er do wells with the cannibal import Raw, the very Lovecrafty chiller The Void, the Scottish pricks of T2 Trainspotting and the deviants behind Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Then Bryan joins in for a discussion about the 8th(!) film in a series that started with a decent Point Break remake: The Fate of the Furious.

We also discuss some Marvel and Transformers news and take a look at some new trailer drops like Atomic Blonde and Thor: Ragnarok. Oh, and a little movie called Star Wars: The Last Jedi. 

All this and less on Aisle of the Damned!

The Aquabats– Stuck in a Movie
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes– I am a Rock

Kent’s Damned Movie Reviews: Guardians of the Galaxy


Guardians of the Galaxy is not Marvel’s best film. At least not in my eyes. It isn’t as consistent as The Avengers and it doesn’t offer quite the perfect blend of heady thrills that we received in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. But it absolutely delivers, and when taken as a pair with Cap, it makes 2014 the banner year for Marvel cinema. Some have called it this generation’s Star Wars. I would call it this generation’s much better version of The Last Starfighter. Whatever you call it, it is a great way to close out the summer.

But let’s put the kibosh on the outright Star Wars comparisons while we have the chance. While it’s obvious that Gunn grew up with Star Wars and brings that kind of semi-grungy feel to the proceedings, the most recent film I can think of that is reminiscent in tone is actually JJ Abrams’ initial Star Trek entry. It cares more about movement and fun (while including some pathos) than being serious sci-fi. And the way Gunn grounds the film with the soundtrack is a much better utilized extension of how Abrams clunkily snuck the Beastie Boys into Trek on an “oldies” station. Both seem to care more about establishing the characters and their interaction than plot, at least on the surface level. In fact, I kind of want to watch it again so that I can do a bit better analysis of the two and how they compare and contrast. But then I’m also reminded because I feel a lot of the original Trek in Guardians, as well there should be considering the cosmic side of the Marvel universe was being developed back in the sixties and seventies. The character Gamora, with her green skin, is highly reminiscent of an Orion woman with a higher make-up budget. This only enhances the proceedings as far as I’m concerned. They are both playful updates that keep the spirit of the pop-art sci-fi they were born from.

After an Up-style, heady, depressing opening designed to inform the audience of where our protagonist Peter Quill comes from, it wisely buckles in to become a tongue-in-cheek thrill ride with some great characters and an assortment of wonderful moments that range from small and personal to universe-shattering. Unlike a lot of films of this ilk, there are even moments when the two collide.

Quill, desperate to make a name for himself as an outlaw with the nickname ‘Star Lord,’ was abducted from Earth as a child right after the most tragic and defining moment of his life, his mother’s death. It’s obvious why Chris Pratt of Andy Dwyer fame on Parks and Recreation was cast, as he imbues the same kind of childlike innocence in the character that makes you root for him even as he’s doing things that could be considered border-line despicable. The real brilliance of the casting is that he manages to give Quill a sense of palpable arrested development. While he’s gotten older and become a seasoned pirate, for lack of a better word, there is a part of him that has never progressed from that moment and the film pulls no punches with the obvious metaphors in this regard. While it is never mentioned by name, Quill obviously labors under a love of the Han Solo model of scoundrel. But rather than push that connection, writer/director James Gunn fills him with just as well-known but more left-field references to the pop culture he grasped onto as a child and hasn’t let go of.

In addition, Quill continues to carry around a mixtape his mother made for him. Played on his original Walkman (still in fantastic condition, surprisingly), it becomes a part of the character and the ’70s and ’80s tunes are built into the film in an extremely organic way. No doubt, the soundtrack will sell a bajillion copies. If one were cynical (and I’m sure there are a few critics who have already said so) I could talk about the film being so blatantly calculated with its feel good, curated soundtrack. I’m sure there are lots of other ways that people can complain about being manipulated (as if that doesn’t happen with every movie), but every example I can think of actually comes across as good, solid, commercial filmmaking. Everything that could come across as trite is embedded into the story or the characters and given a real excuse to be there, beyond being, to quote Mike Nelson from the Twilight Rifftrax commentary, “Coldly calculated to pander to your shrieking demographic.” As an example of commercial limitations being built into character, there are things like Quill’s use of the term “a-hole,” used to get the director his first PG-13 rating, which come across as part of his stunted growth.

And the characters are extremely well put together. The villains and side characters may lack a certain amount of depth, but Gunn does such a good job balancing and creating interpersonal relationships between the eponymous Guardians that one would struggle to come up with a standout. Given that means fully developing five separate characters from scratch (none of the main characters have been seeded in other films) and giving each of them a real arc, that’s not bad at all. Besides Quill, we also have Gamora, played by Star Trek alum Zoe Saldana, who is the adopted daughter of Marvel’s Darkseid analog, Thanos. She finally feels she’s found a chance to escape his clutches. If anyone gets a shorter shrift it’s her, but it’s not from a lack of trying. Part of her character simply requires her to have less of the humorous moments that pull the audience in. If her “sister” Nebula (Doctor Who’s Karen Gillan, sporting one of the more impressive make-up jobs I’ve ever seen) had been further developed, it may have helped as she does have that interpersonal relationship to fall back on, but we may have to wait for the inevitable sequel for that. Marvel occupies this incredibly unique sphere where their films work individually, yet their almost assured success thus far has allowed them a tremendous amount of breathing room. If a plot thread isn’t overly developed in one film, it can be picked up in another. Gunn does a fantastic job wrapping things up in satisfying fashion at the end, but there is more than enough to bring along for another film. It’s a balancing act that most of the Marvel directors have proven deft at and speaks well to the planning that has gone into their overall series. (Ant-Man could always be the first blow against them, but I hold out hope that Peyton Reed will finally get a chance to pull off his superhero film that he’s wanted to do since he was prepping what sounds like a far superior version of Fantastic Four than what ended up coming out.)

In addition, we have a surprisingly good performance from Dave Bautista, who made his name as a professional wrestler. Based on what little I’d seen of his performances talking up matches and his serviceable but unremarkable role in Riddick, I was expecting him to bring a strong physicality to the role of Drax the Destroyer, for sure. But I was pleasantly surprised by the comic timing that he brings to the screen. He gets a good hook that allows humor to be built off him so he can be taken in by the audience much more than a typical scarred up, tattooed, hulking ball of rage. The characters that will undoubtedly find their way into the highest echelons of pop culture, as kids will undoubtedly latch onto them like crazy, are Rocket (aka Rocket Raccoon) and his ent-like sidekick Groot. While they will surely be turned into cute plush toys, neither comes across as particularly adorable for most of the screentime with Rocket managing in particular to come across more as irritable. There’s little chance of him being confused with the kind of CGI animals that inhabit family films where screenwriters work out their issues with how they think their dads worked too much. No, our little Rocket is a hissing, mangy bag of annoyance. And while I still personally would not have picked Bradley Cooper to voice him (I had spent a good deal of time rooting for the David Tennant rumor to be true, giving him a gruff British Isles accent as he does in some media he’s appeared in), he does a more than serviceable job. Also doing his job well is Vin Diesel, who manages to give Groot’s limited vocabulary a surprising range. What in many ways could come across as a one-note character is, through Diesel and some excellent work by the film’s animators, given a surprising depth and unique personality. Sometimes he feels like a Miyazaki character that accidentally fell into the wrong universe.

Gunn manages to herd these characters through several action sequences and alien worlds, giving us a rudimentary travelogue through Marvel’s cosmic branch. For decades the company has had a history of characters jumping around in deep space but this section of the publisher’s continuity had largely been overlooked in favor of Earth-based heroes in the films. Some of this may be because arguably the most well-known of these characters, The Silver Surfer, is tied to the Fantastic Four franchise over at Fox. Some of it is certainly due to a lack of name recognition compared to a character like Captain America (though really, Iron Man was only a sixties cartoon away from similar obscurity to the general public before that movie was a big hit.) And some of it was, no doubt, due to worries about the nature of the ensuing film. After all, apart from Star Wars/Trek, there have been relatively few space franchises that have made a splash at the box office. Put it all together and it’s no wonder people thought this was a big gamble for the studio and their Disney overlords. We’ve been given peaks and glimpses to this larger universe in the Thor films and The Avengers, but on the whole it is a very different project for them.

However, the Marvel name has deservedly become a huge selling point and they made all the right calls here. It may be sci-fi spectacle, but they have injected it with plenty of the Marvel DNA that typically means a fun and exciting story that won’t depress the hell out of you. They put together that rarest of things: A special effects blockbuster with not just a pulse, but a soul.

(Four and a half damns given out of five)

Kent’s Movie Diary: Elementary, My Dear Witless!

DiaryHoundI finally got around to ordering The Complete Sherlock Holmes, a set of the 14 films that starred Basil Rathbone as Holmes and Nigel Bruce as Dr. Watson. I can absolutely say that Rathbone is my favorite Holmes, even overtaking good ol’ Bandersnatch Cumberbund. After being typecast for years as a fantastic villain in such films as The Adventures of Robin Hood and The Mark of Zorro, he got typecast all over again because he was just so darn perfect as Arthur Conan Doyle’s signature character. (No offense to Professor Challenger, the hairy little bastard.) Unfortunately since they didn’t know what to do with Watson, he became an increasing buffoon.  Indeed, Bruce is at once revered and reviled in the pantheon of screen Watsons. On the one hand, he did give an indelible performance as Dr. Watson that actually manages to be endearing on occasion. Mostly because he and Rathbone have an admirable on-screen chemistry. On the other, he set the previously nonexistent template as the “dumbass Watson” that managed to hold on in pop culture long past when it should have considering that’s not the way the character comes across in the original stories.

The main thing is simply that these are, for the most part, great films that manage to entertain. The first two in the set, The Hound of the Baskervilles and The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes are from Fox and they’re the only two that have not been restored by the UCLA film preservation department. Of the two, Adventures is rougher. While the image is sharp and it’s better than you’ll probably ever see again, there’s more than a handful of film defects. Scratches, dirt and God knows what else are so prevalent, that they’re pretty damned prevalent. What, you expected a humorous metaphor? It’s bizarre that Baskervilles was the first Holmes film to be set in the Victorian period. It’s even stranger to think that at the time the film was made, it was less than 40 years off the time that the film actually took place. But that only lasts for the first two films. Of the Fox films, Baskervilles is probably my favorite.

DiaryScarletClawAfter that the Universal films kick in and we get to see something different and awesome; Sherlock Holmes fightin’ the Nazis! Indeed, part of what made Stephen Moffatt try setting his Sherlock series in the present day is the fact that it’d been done before. While there are definitely some Victorian stylizations made (horses occasionally appear, for example) and some of the stories are based on the original Doyle works, they take place in the era of which they were filmed and the first two of them, Sherlock Holmes and the Voice of Terror and Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon, are completely enveloped in WWII. In these, as well as Sherlock Holmes in Washington, Holmes almost seems to be as much spy as sleuth. Eventually they do go back to being the kind of mystery you would expect to see Holmes in and the last one I’ve watched within the set so far, The Scarlet Claw, is an excellent original story of a murderer in Quebec as Holmes plays ghostbuster.

I’ve been mainlining these films like black tar heroin since my set arrived, probably in part because they are all only between an hour and eighty minutes long. Even the elaborate Fox pictures manage to move at a good clip, but the Universal films were considered to be high-profile b-pictures and are the shortest of the bunch. They are obviously cheaper, but some of them certainly manage to still put a lot of great atmosphere into the proceedings. The best Holmes movies from this era definitely make use of noir elements with their slightly stylized sets and their dark visuals. Of course the way it turns out, the best of the movies seem to be the ones in the worst shape. Scarlet Claw especially has some moments, most of which I assume happen around reel changes, that look like the film was attacked by shapeless black dots. In an introduction on the first disc to head off any complaints, the fella in charge of the restoration of the films, saving them from oblivion in some cases, says that they used the best elements available to them at the time. Some of them are 16mm blow ups simply because that’s all they could find. Some of them, like Washington and The Spider Woman, look pretty great for what they are. I mean, c’mon. Universal never intended for these to stand the test of time. That’s why they sold the rights to them of to another company and a few of them weren’t even kept under copyright. It really is a testament to the enduring power of the films and to Rathbone that many of them became late-night classics, showing on local channels like the Universal monsters series did. One thing the set does that I, as an anal bastard, really appreciate is restoring the Universal logo and in some cases even reattaching short PSAs from World War II that ask theater audiences to buy war bonds. Just one of those little touches that really shows they put an effort into these films. I can’t see there being a better release of these films and if you like them, just get the set.

DiaryIronGiantOn Saturday I made a snap decision to head to Kansas City to see an afternoon screening of The Iron Giant and man am I glad I did. Even though it’s on DVD I haven’t watched it in years and it was my first chance to see it on the big screen since I saw it twice during it’s initial release; once alone and the second time dragging my college buddy Joe and his brother to see it. So I think I accounted for about 10% of it’s total box office, as badly as Warner Bros. sold it back in the day. Given the fact that the visually arresting cult film still hasn’t found its way to blu ray despite it being directed by Brad Freakin’ Bird (his real middle name), the guy behind The Incredibles and Mission: Impossible 4, f’gosh sakes, shows they still don’t know what they have in their hands. I was at a Saturday matinee of a 15-year-old film that flopped, and it was a full house. And I only saw one kid in the audience. That should tell them something. I shouldn’t need to sell the movie to you. At this point,  I don’t know what I would tell you that fans haven’t gushed about for the last decade and a half.

What I really loved about the screening is the amount of delighted tittering that came out during the credits when Vin Diesel was credited as the voice of The Giant. I have to wonder how many people never realized he was the throat behind the gravel. It is the reason I was championing him as the voice of Groot in Guardians of the Galaxy. I won on that one. Not so much on Bradley Cooper as Rocket Raccoon. I actually am a big fan of Bradley Cooper. I think him being dropped from Alias was when it started to peter out. I loved him as Face in The A-Team. He was great in The Hangover and Wet Hot American Summer. But he basically has two modes; super nice guy and smarmy asshole. And Rocket is neither of those things. I guess he could prove me wrong, but I was really hoping for David Tennent or even Jason Statham. I’m sure part of that comes from the fact that the Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 game has linked him to a cockney accent for the rest of my association with the character. I suppose it only has me so riled because every other casting decision has either been unexpectedly inspired or highly intriguing. Guess we’ll see. I think it’s the Marvel film I’m looking forward to most in Phase II. Aside from maybe the second Avengers.