Aisle of the Damned: 01/19/17- The Perfunctory 2017 Wrap-Up

Hello, fellow movie geeks! Bryan and Kent are up to their old tricks again with their mandatory look at the year that was! Yes, there’s a look a the best, the worst, and the most disappointing releases of the year. Which movies will top their lists? Will Bryan have room for anything besides the plethora of grand superhero films this year? Find out!

All this and less on Aisle of the Damned!

The Aquabats- Stuck in a Movie
Velocity Girl- My Forgotten Favorite

Aisle of the Damned: 01/05/18- Quick N’ Dirty


It’s Bryan’s turn to be sick, so this week, both of the Damned boys get to be grumpy. But Kent has reviews of the long-gestating sequel Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Netflix’s attempt at a blockbuster, Bright, and Guillermo del Toro’s The Shape of Water.

They also have a contentious discussion about Jodie Foster’s contentious interview regarding superhero movies. Does she have a point, or is she just the latest to pile onto a decades long one-sided feud with audience-pleasing blockbusters? Plus, Bryan won’t forget about Criterion’s new release of the John Hughes film, The Breakfast Club.

All this and less on Aisle of the Damned!

The Aquabats-
Stuck in a Movie
The Cadets- Stranded in the Jungle

Aisle of the Damned: 11/17/17- Under the Rainbow

Mjolnir Coppertone

It’s time for the biggest superhero movie of the year. No, not that one. Thor: Ragnarok is ready to hammer its way into your heart. But that’s not all! Bryan and Kent also take a look at the latest version of Murder on the Orient Express and the Netflix release The Babysitter.

But wait! That’s not all! We also talk news about Star Wars, Creed 2, Fox and Disney rumors, and the Sony Spider-Manless-Universe. And we’re not done yet! Vinegar Syndrome’s Orgy of the Dead release tries to do right by Ed Wood!

All this and less on Aisle of the Damned!

The Aquabats- Stuck in a Movie
St. Vincent- Black Rainbow

Aisle of the Damned: 10/20/17- Ryan Reynolds GIF War

Brade Lunner

Early in the 21st Century, THE WARNER BROS. CORPORATION advanced robot cinema into the NOSTALGIA phase – a movie virtually identical to a 35-year-old film. The 2049 Sequel was superior in strength and agility and at least equal in intelligence, to the cult film that spawned it. After a bloody mutiny, Bryan and Kent reviewed Blade Runner 2049. It was not retired.

They also take a look the Martin Campbell IRA triller The Foreigner, with Jackie Chan and Pierce Brosnan. Plus, Bryan takes a look at the TV cut of Superman: The Movie from Warner Archive. We also discuss news regarding old (Batman: The Animated Series, The Breakfast Club) and new (Snake Outta Compton, Bearmageddon) and everything in-between.

All this and less on Aisle of the Damned!

The Aquabats- Stuck in a Movie
Flock of Seagulls- I Ran (So Far Away)

Aisle of the Damned: 05/26/17- I Got 99 Problems and They’re All Audio Related

Alien VI: This Time It's Repetative

Apology ahead of time, folks. We have some weird audio troubles this time so after a very ironic introductory statement, Kent is very quiet through a lot of this episode. (Some of you may be pleased by that, of course.) We’ve done what we can to fix it.

If you can hang with us, we have more crazy Sony news, we talk about Zack Snyder’s sudden departure from Justice League, Kent recommends some British comedy and we lay the smack down on Alien: Covenant, the sixth or eighth film in the venerable series, depending on how you count. (And arguably the fourth or sixth film too many.)

All this and less on Aisle of the Damned!

The Aquabats- Stuck in a Movie
The Misfits- Hybrid Moments

Aisle of the Damned: 01/27/16- Seinfeld with Guns

We don't need no steenkeeng badgers!

Delayed, but not forgotten! In the new episode of Aisle of the Damned, Bryan and Kent tackle Tarantino’s latest, The Hateful Eight. We also discuss our favorite films of the year. And how one actor can appear in both our most favorite and most hated films of the year. Plus, detours into Kevin Smith’s career and Batman v Superman territory. Want to know how many Air Bud sequels there are? You’ll find out in Aisle of the Damned!

The Aquabats- Stuck in a Movie
Johnny Zorro- Road Hog

Aisle Of The Damned Episode XI: Alien 5

Holy balls, Batman! Our eleventh episode finds our intrepid hosts, Bryan and Kent, in agreement for the most part on Ridley Scott’s Prometheus. But will special guest villains Pat Loika and Antonio Cuneo (of Loikamania fame) upset the balance of power? Find out in our current turgid episode! We also have a Blu-Ray review of Battle Royale!

Music: The Aquabats – Stuck In A Movie, The Groovie Ghoulies – 50,000 Spaceships (Watching Over Me)

Crazy indepth article behind the meanings of Prometheus

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Antonio’s Twitter: @AntonioPCuneo

Pat’s Twitter: @PatLoika

All about Pat

The Loikamania Podcast

Pro Wrestling Noise Podcast

Kent’s Damned Movie Reviews: Prometheus










Ridley Scott’s Prometheus is a maddening mess of contradiction. It is a film that attempts to serve two masters and thus serves neither. It attempts to ask big, smart questions and dares you to think, but once you start thinking, it contains more plot holes than it takes to fill the Albert Hall, to appropriate the Beatles’ lyric. In doing so, it therefore negates its attempts to raise itself above what it ends up being: an A-grade B-movie. Which, in all fairness, certainly makes it more successful than the Matrix sequels which have in common a lot of pretentious dialogue that means nothing. It wants to make a statement, but is so determined on leaving room for interpretation that it leaves itself in complete ambiguity. It is a film that is utterly nihilistic, while spending a good amount of its running time talking about what it means to be human.

It is a film with great actors giving fantastic performances in service of supposedly brilliant characters doing stupid things in order to be able to deliver the horror film that is promised in the final 45 minutes.

Let’s start with what Scott is known for. Visual splendor. The film is nothing short of beautiful in the way it merges the aesthetic of Alien (the film) into the aesthetic of Alien (the concept by H.R. Geiger) in a collision the likes of which has not been seen in any of the previous films in the series.

And words will not be minced. This is, in every way, an Alien movie. It is a direct sequel/prequel/whatever the hell term you want to use to describe it. There isn’t much of a way of knowing why they felt the need to pussyfoot around this, but even if there isn’t a shiny black critter running around and spitting acid, the thematic elements and story beats are so clear that there’s not any question.

But back to how the movie looks. The film possibly features the best use of 3D ever in a live-action film and may be the first non-cartoon to make it worth the extra few dollars in ticket price. If only Green Lantern had used its extra dimension to portray space as effectively. Part of what makes the 3D so effective is that it never feels like a gimmick and never feels invasive. It simply feels natural to the story telling. It does a fantastic job showing size, depth and grandeur. Take one early moment for example: in a nod to Lawrence of Arabia’s famous desert sequence in which the characters are so small on the screen that it is hard to see them without a 70mm print, we see the ship Prometheus as a tiny speck, rocketing silently and insignificantly in front of a giant planet.

The acting is much of what keeps the film from imploding in on itself and makes it an enjoyable trip while you’re in the theater. Noomi Rapace gives possibly her best performance yet as Dr. Elizabeth Shaw, the woman who inspires the spaceship Prometheus to travel across space to find the origins of man in the universe. It is on her shoulders that the film stands and she shows herself to have been wasted in things like her small role in the Sherlock Holmes sequel. Hopefully following this film, she’ll start seeing the kind of work she deserves. Idris Elba gives an expectedly good performance as the Prometheus’ captain that is often funnier than his oddly serious role on The Office. (Ironic that he had to appear in a horror film to show his comedic chops.) He is the most likable character in the film and provides a needed sounding board for the characters, even as they make seemingly random decisions from scene to scene. Michael Fassbinder gives a standout performance as David, an early android of the type that appears in the later films. Though supposedly emotionless, he exudes quiet disdain for his creators, all while the human characters search for our own. Fashioning himself physically after Peter O’Toole in the aforementioned Lawrence of Arabia, he displays no compassion for humans and indeed seems to take every opportunity to differentiate himself from them, yet seems insulted when his lack of humanity is pointed out to him by his creators. It is also worth mentioning that Charlize Theron gives another winning performance as an unlikable bitch.

It all serves to elevate what is a half-assed attempt to combine a pretty standard “Chariots of the Gods” idea that has been explored in other forms such as Quatermass and the Pit or Stargate, with what is expected from a horror film. One wonders how successful it could have been if Scott had simply said what was on his mind, instead of purposely obfuscating his ideas or if it had simply been set outside that particular universe. There are already tons of examples of the issues with the script on the internet, so there’s no need to delve into them and ruin the genuine pleasures you may experience in viewing the film here. Some can be explained in no-prize fashion, but all in all, it shows to simply be sloppy storytelling. How much can be assigned on the writers (including Damon Lindelof of Lost) and how much is on Scott is up for debate.

Yet, for all the kvetching, it is an affecting film with some genuine classic moments in the horror genre. One squeam-inducing moment involving self-sugery is enough to make even the hardcore horror hound cringe. Say what you will about Scott, but once the fan is hit, the tension is successfully ratcheted at a good clip and in a lot of ways, these visceral moments make up for the shortcomings of the film. And it is for that reason and those of the acting and visuals that, while not perfect, it is a movie that can be recommended and on the big screen at that.

(Three out of five stars.)